When you least expected...

The entire thing that you least expected it to happen, just take place all of a sudden. May it be good or bad, just recently all happen to me at my current stage of my life cycle. I can’t say much about them, but I just take them as they come. May it be personal or work, I wish I was well prepared for all these.

BUT if I were all prepare for all these, I guess there is nothing much to learn or gain from? Eh? Why would I say such things? Well 1^st if you expected it to happen, and you already guess what would happen. Would you still want to go and follow or do it? Now this is the million dollar question.

You should ask yourself at times. Do you have what it takes to actually sustain or even know what to do when everything is coming at you thick and fast? Well if you do, then I wish you all the best. If you still don’t, I suggest you to sit back and relax and let everything take care of itself. Well at times this works… but sometimes it doesn’t.

Welcome to my life...

Now where the heck I have been these 2 months? Found someone to spend my free time with? Still doing some soul searching? Still fooling around with my own heart? Still can’t decide to forget about my 1^st ex girl friend that I have left for almost 4 years?

Houston we have a freaking serious problem here. How hard is it to forget someone who has taken apart of your heart in a process of a relationship? I would say fucking hard, is so difficult it makes me look dumb at times. I’m might be good troubleshooting those computer related problems. But when it comes to my own personal problems… I always can’t decide what is best for me.

I once post on my previous blog entries here. True love, meaning… I still can’t find the answer for it. Even God had showed me the way, I still can’t decide what is best for me. Am I that stupid at times or am I just plain ignorant or a fool? At times I feel like killing myself and end my misery on this world. I still freaking miss my ex, and I really missed her a lot. But now my heart has been occupied with another person that has carved her name on it. I will forever cherish the moments that I spend with these 2 lovely girls in my life.

God have showed me love,
I cherish them with my love,
But times will not change my love,
For it will be foolish to forget what has been done.

The good old days...

Was scavenging my old house for reference book I were using them when I were at college. Found some old cassette tapes in the process which I purchase when I was a younger, the high school days. Those songs brought back the old good days when I was studying at high school, the good the bad and the ugly. The days when I was being call into the principles office for getting my head skinned... Also fighting at class... Ah so vivid in my mind. Wondering now what can I do to make it better IF I can turn back the time. But I guess there is reason that god forbid us traveling back into time, changes sometimes will make things worst. More over it will make things better at times, but messing up the time line will surely bring some disturbance of the days of now. Imagine if I didn't do those things last time, would I be what I am now?

Just think about it.

Adios to the good old days.

Looking forward for another chapter in my life... As everyday comes by.

Yes, and finally is all done!!!

My broadband service is finally up and running... now I can do most of the things I want at home... no more staying late at office again!!!

Till then...

Adios.

& Then There Was...

Streamyx, yes!!! Finally!!! TMnet will be installing the broadband service at my house today. I guess this will give me more reason to blog now =) So will be posting my 1st post with the new broadband service later in the evening. Till then Auf Wiedersehen!

5 Seconds.

5 Seconds It Takes To Countdown,
5 Seconds It Takes For Me To Make Someone Cry, (Well I Can Do This, Just Try Me =P )
5 Seconds It Takes For You To Take Something From Me,
5 Seconds It Takes For Me To Forgive Someone,
5 Seconds It Takes For Me To Count From One To Five,
5 Seconds Is All I Need To Spend My Whole Life Time With You.

This poem is dedicated to someone who has taken something from me that I have lost for the past 3 years. It’s my great pleasure to meet you.

Countdown to another New Year.

So how did you spend your Christmas last week? I bet you all have a great time. For those who didn’t… well there is still next year… in fact everyday can be Christmas. Christmas is a time to forgive and forget. I guess with time and some dedication, everything can be forgiven and forget.

How about this week’s coming new year? Are you going to spend it with your love ones? Or are you going to be all alone at home again? For those who are going to be alone at home, I suggest that you give someone a call ushering into the new year, wish them all the best in the coming months ahead and all his/her aspirations for the whole year will come true and fruitful… hmm…

For those who are spending their time ushering into the New Year with their friends and love ones, I wish you all will be friends for ever and for those love birds, may your love be as the stars in the sky. The position on them will never be moved…

So many things happen this year, as every year past by for me. These past three year counting from 2004 have been a quite challenging time for me and my trusty brain. I learn so many things; meet so many friends and foes. I’ve never tasted love since then, let alone spending my festive season with my other half… should I find one. But then again, I still have friends =) all is not lost. To love someone is to love them without boundary; even he/she didn’t return your love. You can still be friends?

I’m getting tired, but I must go one with my life. There are so many things that left undone. Is up to me to finish those tasks given by people or by god. To God, I would like to apologies that I have forgotten you this past few months. I have never forgotten about you. I will never forget about you. Thou I fear you, but I will never stop loving you.

For everyone who frequent patron my blog, I would like to wish you a Merry Belated Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Ushering to year 2005.

See you guys again!!!

Adios, Terima Kasih, Thank You and Sayonara

09121979-09122004

1/4 century of my life has just passed. Nothing much happen today, so busy with my work as usual. Finally my passion for my work slowly coming back to my life. So much thing happen when you turn old each year. Some are good, some are bad. Some are the same, some are just different.

My ex-girlfriend send me a SMS (Short Message System : Cellular Phone) today, It was the least person that I aspect to wish me happy birthday. Another surprise message received today, from someone I knew introduce to me by my colleague. How things turnout for me.

As usual my birthday celebration was at a small scale. Got myself a birthday present in a shape of a computer hardware device - soundcard. =') Finally I'm able to taste some eargasm... To h3ll with Creative!

Can't wait to be 50?

Praise or be praised?

Had my end of the year appraisal yesterday. The same old story again, I have to overcame myself before I'm able to move a step further in the company. Not just about the my position in the company now, is about the faith that certain people have in me at the company.

Should I disappoint them further? Or should I strive/soldier on and hope for the best? Or take up the challenges ahead just like every single breath you take is a fresh air for your lung just like when you're 1st come out of your mother's womb...?

Waiting In Vain

"I Don't Wanna Wait In Vain For Your Love"

One of the verse in a music name "Waiting In Vain". Are you waiting in vain now for someone's love?

How long have you been waiting? 1 Week? 2 Months? Or 3 Years!? Whether the wait is really worth it later on, that is another obstacle that you have to succumb once the other person really accept your love. How long was your last relationship last? Well mine was almost 1 year if I'm not mistaken.

Everything was so fast, I wasn't waiting for her love. Maybe there was a price to pay for that. In the end we broke of because of some reason that both of us could not talk out to it. Does this one "blip" in my life make any difference in my life? Well it did, things turn out bad for me as times goes by. I've rarely have any chance to meet any girls after that. Let alone dated anyone, was anti social for few months after I broke up with my 1st ex. I did have a friend that I could count on that time. But as times goes by, she also have her own personal things to settle with. So I was alone yet again.

Was kind of sick of how I turn out one day, so I decided to be myself again. I mix with the crowd again, gain some self confidence again in the process. Dated few colleagues in the office, didn't turn out great as well. Note to self:-

1. Never rush into a relationship.
2. Never sacrifice yourself to them to show how sincere you are.
3. Just be yourself (heck, someone who loves you doesn't care much as long as you are who you are)
4. Don't exchange phone numbers when you meet for the 1st time. If you did happen to exchange phone numbers, try not to call the instance you got them. Lets say maybe in 3-4 weeks (optional, just don't call them once you got their phone number!) time?
5. Don't date when you meet them for the 1st time.
6. Just go slow, the tortoise always wins the hare... hmm...

More to come, till tomorrow then. Have a good week ahead.

53.196

“Fate”...

What is the true meaning behind the word “fate”? Are they many ways to interpret this meaning for us to understand the meaning behind it better?

Is it good for our life? If so, is it good for us to think that nothing is seems to be going our way at times and is this due to our “fate”? Then it comes to the point in that our lives are revolved around “fate”… but then does our love lives also revolves around it. How do we manage our own “fate”? Do we have to do lots of things to make our lives much better for us? Do we have to do the things that we ourselves despise of and not fond of doing it?

Sometimes I wonder myself, does each passing day have its own meaning towards our lives? How can we fully make use of each day so that we could actually achieve something that will make us happy and enjoy being alive? Do we have to tempt “fate” to tango with us on our daily lives? I don’t think so.

As things come and go as well as the time. People often blame “fate” on things that has taken place on our daily lives. Let me ask you this, Can’t you control your own “fate”? Are they hard to control? Are they hard to come by? How do I know when “fate” is taking its place now in our day? How do I swallow the fact that things happen are cause by “fate”?

Be more aware of the things that comes by, it might be good and bad. But at times things that are happening with our lives are just part and parcel of things to come as each day unfolds upon your eyes.

I’m just not myself today, I’m am currently tempting “fate” to take hold on my life. I know this is bad, most of you viewers here may even say that I’m stupid or something to let “fate” run my life. Finally I got a phone line, now in the processed on getting a broadband service running so that I can update this block as frequent as possible… maybe, just maybe =P.

December is my favorite month of the year, may it be the festive days that are coming or my job year end appraisal. I just love this month, as it holds a special meaning in my life. Not just about life, is just about myself. A journey to man hood? Or a journey to Mr. Nobody?

Losing my grip here...

Yeah, what does the title mean? Am I losing my grip on my own life? Am I losing my grip on my work life? Am I losing my grip on the things that I love to do? Nothing is great at my life at the moment. Maybe is just another blip, just hope it is. Not having anything to do is much more worst then not knowing what you are suppose to do... For the moment.

Erase and Rewind

Damn, didn't have enough sleep last night. This is all due to my bloody housing area having some electrical power failure. Didn't even sleep well last night. Reason, had this bloody "half awake dream" and was strangle by the neck by a don't know who woman/girl. It was surreal... I can even feel her fingers when I stop what she was doing to me!!! Anyone know how to interpreted this dream, please let me know...

I'm so freak out with this dream at the moment... Can't seem to get it of my mind... argg... What a way to start you day off... As usual... Bah!

Give me a reason!

Yeah, the reason that I have been missing for the past few weeks and also not updating my blog is simple. I have my own life to live for as well ='P. At the moment my life is so unclear, in my previous blog entry's I have mention that I will quit my current job. Now the problem is like this, whether is good or not for my future. I still have to go on with my life. Nothing can be whine about now. Ill just take everyday now as it comes, well maybe do a little thinking on what is the best job out there that I can venture in. Maybe writing, or get back the same kind of job that I'm in now. And I choose to do writing now, for some gaming magazine. Let see how will things turn out for me, yeah my England is still bad =P. So sue me! Eheheh. Alright then... cya in awhile... Perhaps another few more weeks... Or months... Before I update this blog... Again!!! =P

Take care to all who reads my blog, and peace on earth.

Where the fuck am I?

Yeah it's been really really awhile since I last posted anything on my blog... reason... my mind is currently blank like an empty well... will try and see If I could remember what happen on my life for the past few weeks... and see what story I can cook up. Yeah added some photo at my site... hope you guys notice it... hmm... well that is my baby photo from my 1st passport for Malaysia-Singapore... talk about baby face...

Later guys.

ROAR!!! Part 1

Yeap... back to Malaysia, for now. What a weekend for me last week. This is how my trip goes as I remember. The journeys begin on Friday, brought the bus ticket that departs from KL to Singapore at 5:30PM... and guess what... didn't bloody make it in time to board that bus!!! I was so pissed off at that time… I literally swear at all the words that were coming out from my conversation at that time. I would like to apologies for this bad habit of mine and for those who I have offended… the ala Hulk is not likened here.

Who was it to blame? Who else, but myself.

I didn't plan my time properly prior on taking leave on Friday and then have to take care of some unfinished business before I leave KL to Singapore. Sigh, so what do I do next? I brought another bus ticket to Johore Bahru. I had to inform my sister that I will be late because I didn’t make it to the 5:30PM bus that I was suppose to board.

It so happen that the bus companies stop at one of the rest and relax place at Johore, my sister told me to see whether I was able to board that bus to Singapore that I missed. I happen to be in luck and manage to board that bus from the R&R they have stop for a break. A note to myself in the future, if you are traveling please give yourself and others a 1 hour buffer time before the time of departure.

Reach Singapore at about 11:45PM, my sister came over to pick me up at the Woodlands checkpoint the new place where she's staying, it's located just few kilometers away from the checkpoint. My sis cooked noodles for me for supper, I was hungry I didn’t manage to take my dinner when I were at the R&R because had to catch that 5:30PM bus which I had missed. Slept at 1AM, and that is basically how I spend my 1st day at Singapore.

The next day, wake up at 8AM. Have to get ready and go to Suntec Convention and Exhibition Hall. Covering an event there, so have to be early. Well actually I didn’t know what time that event start and end. So I just have to be there early. Guess what, the event starts at 11AM. My sister and I reach there at about 9:30AM… talk about not getting late again. Note to self again, make sure you know what is the time of any events that you are going to attend in the future.

So we took this time and walk around the Suntec Shopping Complex, she show me around the place. Which I remember how it looks like from my previous trips. Not much change since then, some new shops around. Most of them are restaurant, I think this is the best business that one could make a living at Singapore. My sis had an appointment at 10AM, so she had to leave. Thus I was around the area until the event start… was wandering around the place.

Was at the event from the start to the end, taking photos and talking with my friend who was at the event few days earlier. We had lunch on one of the food court there, I must say I missed Malaysia food when I tasted Singapore ones. No offence to Singapore for their food, but it’s just too healthy. I had the Bamboo Rice with Mince Meet and Salted Egg, and the egg not even salted. Sigh… so I guess if I were to work at Singapore… ill might spend some time preparing my lunch and dinner!!!...

to be continue…

Here I come...

Yeap... taking MC tomorrow just to finish all my task before I head to Singapore for the weekend... eheheh... shhh... don't tell my boss yeah... =P eheheh. Cya later guys...

I feel pretty... oh so pretty...

Hmm... not that i'm gay or what... just feel very happy today =) eheheh... hmm I guess this is what I'm going to blog about today =) cya guys... zoommm...

Up up and away...

Not exactly Superman... but given the chance to test any computer related products... well I don't exactly say no to it. In fact ill take my chance on it. Today manage to get the newest Intel 925X BC Chipset motherboard and the Intel Pentium 4 560 3.6GHz Prescott system up and running. So far... wasn't impressed much by it... the CPU temperature was way of my personal temperature threshold... well I think this applies to some people out there. Not just me... I think Intel is losing this battle of processor this year... AMD is fast rising to their expectation on their 64 bit processors.

So who would you go for??? AMD or Intel?

Did I bore you guys to death? Well this is what the happy side happen today, don't want to talk about the unhappy side of it...

That's it, I had enough...

Yup... I have made up my mind on lots of thing. Meet my friend last week... we had a great conversation. He make me realised that I need to do something now before it's really too late. This few coming months will be a make or break for my entire life. Whether I'm able to achieve it without much problem it's all going to depend on my will power.